Monday, March 30, 2009

10 dpiui

I'm not sure I'm feeling it this cycle but I think that's mostly because I don't think it will ever happen. Not in a I'm so sad way but more of it hasn't happened yet and that's all I know way. I did start testing on Friday and so far not even a hint of anything other than BFNs. I know it's too early but since I don't find the negatives to be depressing this early and I would much rather know as soon as possible I don't mind wasting a few dollar store tests.

I've had a few possible symptoms that have caught my attention. I usually let my nephew visit the pet store after we go grocery shopping so he can check out the cute little critters and see if they have any new hamster toys for our caged friend. Today I had to leave after a few minutes and get some fresh air because it smelled too pet-ish and it was making me nauseous. I also winced a bit when I took my bra off tonight because it hurt when the fabric brushed my nipples. It's most likely nothing but I wanted to note it just in case.

The baby blanket I had to restart a few weeks ago because I dropped a whole mess of stitches off the needle is coming along nicely and I'm liking it better than I thought I would when I first started. I'm still not in love with the celery green color but maybe it will grow on me.

If this cycle doesn't work I'll have to purchase some more of my MIC (man in a can) and I'm trying to figure out if I have enough cash or if I have to take a short break. I really wanted to get my six out of pocket tries out of the way as quickly as possible (insurance kicks in after 6 attempts) and after all the other delays I just really don't want to take another break. It will be tight but I'm really leaning towards cutting lots of corners in the budget and sperming up next month. If it works I'll still have a shot at delivering in 2009 and the tax break will be most welcome.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

One week down

So I'm one week in and I have at most one week to go. The first 7 days haven't been too bad on the 'making myself crazy scale' but I can feel some crazy ramping up for the next half of this TWW. I've been trying so hard to Just.Not. Think. About. It. but I do have some random moments of ... is that menstrual-ish cramping anything? Does my urine smell stronger? Am I feeling a bit sea sick? Can boobs cramp or am I imagining those twinges? Mostly I about think how much I really want it to work this time.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Another Wait Begins

IUI.2 on Thursday went well. Same as last time - good motility and lots of CM. Unlike last time I did have some cramping about an hour later but it wasn't too bad. The first few days of a TWW is always the easiest because I'm not obsessing or imagining potential pregnancy symptoms. It's day 6 or 7 that I start to get a little crazy. BETA is scheduled for 4/2 if I make it that far.

I met some friends out for drinks Saturday night and drank ginger ale all night. I almost didn't go because I didn't want to be obviously not drinking and I'm impressed that no one asked why I wasn't swimming in Jack&Coke. It was rough because one of the girls was raving about a pineapple vodka and sprite drink and I really really wanted to try it. Today it was a balmy 45 degrees out so I took my nephew outside for a little bit of nature and a photo shoot. We were going to squeeze in some fishing but the pond was still mostly covered in ice. He was very good about saying cheese and posing with minimal grumpy so I took him out to dinner as a reward.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Shamrocks to Turkey

CD14 and I got a positive OPK. IUI #2 is scheduled for 9am tomorrow. I'll be trying out a new pair of potential lucky socks since the pumpkins didn't do their job last time. If this cycle works then baby would arrive Nov/Dec I don't have Turkey socks so I might have to go with Xmas trees. Hmm, I do have some shamrock socks that might be better since there might be some luck of the Irish still hanging around from Tuesday.

Thanks for white lie suggestions. Tanya I love your non lie lie! If this is my month than I get lucky with the timing because my mother is in Florida until April and I would certainly wait until she got to tell her in person. Sorry Mom, if you were here you so would have been the first to know.

Oh, and Dora - Of course all of you will hear it first!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Who's on First

It was a nice break to not be peeing on anything for two weeks. I was disappointed that I didn't get lucky with my first IUI but it wasn't a crushing blow. I will look at it as my practice shot. I'm currently on CD13 and holy moly is there lots of CM. I'm thinking that I should be getting a positive OPK in the next few days.

One thing I have been thinking about is how I will spread the news once I manage to get pregnant. Who should I tell first? I won't get to tell a husband in some cutesy way so I want the telling to count. I want to think this through before I'm actually in the excitement of the moment. It's an honor to be the first to know and I don't want to write in the baby book that I told random dude at the gas station first - or worse that I blurted it out to some casual friend that just happened to be at the drugstore when I was buying more pregnancy tests. Like everything else in life the question of who should be told first is further complicated by family drama.

There are a few people that I will tell early on because they are the ones that I would want around if anything were to happen. It's the order of the telling that I'm stumped on.

My Mother - It would mean a lot to her if I tell her first. My sisters did not tell her first and her feelings were hurt. Once I tell my mother she'll cry and squeal with delight immediately followed by "who did you tell first?" and then pout for the rest of her life if the answer isn't that it was her. Another thing that counts against my mother is that she's really bad at keeping a secret. She thinks she didn't tell anyone if she only told her sister, the neighbors and a few of her friends, etc. My mother will ask lots of questions about the donor and the process (her version of this information will be included in the newspaper ad that she will take out). She will also be pissed that I didn't ask her to perform the IUI. Ok, that was an exaggeration. She'll be pissed that she didn't get to assist during the IUI. Ok, she'll just be pissed that she didn't get to be in the room during the IUI. My mother knows that I'm thinking about having a child but she has no idea that I have started trying.

My sisters - I live with one of them and the other is in Florida. They are both aware that I am planning on doing this but neither one of them has asked me about it or checked in to see where I am in the process. They also have no idea that I have started trying. I had mentioned to them over the summer that I didn't think they were as supportive as our cousin. They talked to each other about how they were offended that I thought that but haven't really made an effort to reach out. If I bring it up they will listen but they don't offer active support.

My cousin - This is who I want to tell first. She has been so supportive. She checks in and asks me how it's going. She's not intrusive and is willing to listen to the details or back off if I give her a vague answer. She is the only one who knows that I have put the plan in to action.

I have to figure out what is more important. Telling who I want or letting my Mom have her moment. Maybe Mom knowing first will soften the blow when I tell her that she won't be in the room for the c-section. That will be my sister since she can manage to take photos without her thumb in them.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Get ready for round 2

Ugh, this cycle was a bust.
My temp dropped this morning and AF has shown herself tonight.

The past 11 days have felt like 11 weeks. I hate that I have to do it all over again in a few weeks.