tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23544380716741047672024-02-19T18:24:03.692-05:00Sweet Baby DreamsA single woman and her dream of starting a family on her ownMeghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.comBlogger179125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-76114659871620864992013-09-21T01:38:00.001-04:002013-09-21T01:38:01.716-04:00Boston Choice Mom Event 10/13<br />
Looks like a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. I went a few years ago and it was great to be in the same room with so many other choice moms. Back then I was just thinking about trying for two - so much has changed! I'm hoping that this time around there will be even more discussion!<br />
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<a href="http://www.choicemoms.org/events/16/event/1">http://www.choicemoms.org/events/16/event/1</a>Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-54654017126789382452013-07-01T00:03:00.002-04:002013-07-01T00:03:28.629-04:00Floating Fish, molars, giggles and food fun<br />
I found one of the fishies floating at the top of the tank today. I left him there until after Mr. O had gone to bed so I wouldn't have to explain death to him. I'm now trying to figure out how I can get another fish before he notices. I do think that pets like fish could be great for introducing a tough topic like death but I'm going to skip it this go round. Mr. O has a molar coming in and has been a whiny mess all week. I don't want crying about the fish to be added to the long list of things he's been screaming about lately. Today I had the nerve to let his cup of water get wet from condensation. How could I?! <br />
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I am being swallowed up by laundry. Right now my bedroom has 4 buckets of clothes that need to be put away. I hate laundry. I think the answer is to own less clothing. <br />
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T the baby (not the train) was laughing his head off tonight while watching his brother dance around the kitchen. He has the best laugh! Anytime O shook his head T started belly laughing. <br />
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T has been gaining weight and keeping the doctors happy so I've been able to relax a bit with when, what and how much he eats. This means that T gets to have more fun exploring food and trying to self feed and he's loving it. This week he went crazy for eggs. He was practically jumping out of the high chair trying to get at the bowl. Watermelon, yogurt and apple sauce were also hits. He does awesome getting a pre-loaded spoon in to his mouth 90% of the time. Sadly, his eye gets the other 10%. <br />
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Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-85498388390176052092013-06-20T03:08:00.003-04:002013-06-20T03:08:36.241-04:00Old friends, outings, upcoming posts and petsI'm so happy to see updates from some fellow SMC bloggers that I haven't heard from in awhile. Welcome back <a href="http://thatshewants.blogspot.com/">Jo from All That She Wants</a> and <a href="http://heather-mammawannabe.blogspot.com/">Heather from MammaWannabe</a> I have missed you both! I can't believe how big your little ones are now - I remember when they were just two lines on a pregnancy test!<br />
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I finally decided on a stroller and I freaking love it! I went with the Cit.y Mi.ni because it was roomier for Mr. O. I used it today for the first time going in and out of a few stores and it was so much easier. I didn't have to chase Mr. O around and it handled like a dream. T the baby was loving it too since he had a better view than he usually does being trapped in the baby bucket. It was beyond adorable looking down and seeing tiny baby toes peeking out. <br />
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T the baby is going to be 11 months old tomorrow. I really can't believe we are closing in on a year since his arrival. I have the usual "waaahhh, my baby is a year old!" stuff going on all mixed up with still processing his dramatic birth and NICU stay. I think you'll be seeing a few posts about that in the next few weeks because I think it might help to get it out. <br />
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The boys now have pets! Mr. O has been wanting a pet fish for weeks so we finally went and got some. He picked out a pink fish tank and two mickey fish (one for him and one for his brother). He named them after himself and his brother since they are friends. They both like to watch them swimming around.<br />
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Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-14828095134676322022013-06-09T23:30:00.000-04:002013-06-10T00:49:57.252-04:004 years ago and other randomsMr. O has existed for 4 years. I remember walking out to my car after the IUI with my hand on my belly and trying to will those swimmers to find that egg. I started to tell O that today was an important day but it got complicated quickly so I changed the subject to ice cream. Maybe his conceptioniversary is a day for me to remember on my own. I know I would be creeped out if my parents insisted on telling me about the moment I was created. <br />
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Life is crazy busy here and I'm working on a list of fun things that I want to do with the boys this summer. Last year was kind of lame since I was miserable from all day morning sickness for the first half and stuck in the NICU with T for the second half.<br />
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Trying to decide what kind of double stroller to get is making me nuts. I just can't make up my mind! I have narrowed it down to the B.o.b or the Ci.ty Mi.ni. Any one have feel strongly about one or the other? <br />
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Seeing lots of fellow SMCs trying for #2 and it's giving me a touch of baby fever. Good luck, Ladies! <br />
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I love watching the boys interact with each other. T loves his big brother - especially big brother's hair! He gets the biggest smile on his face anytime O's hair is in grabbing distance. So far O is too quick for him to get a good grip but it's only a matter of time. I'm sure there will be tears but for now it's fun to watch.<br />
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Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-42404670219625426192013-05-08T01:28:00.002-04:002013-05-08T01:28:53.629-04:00Accepting that you're doneToday was our first really warm day since last summer. How is summer already right around the corner? Summertime will bring T's first birthday! I'm not ready for that. His baby days are slipping away and while it's really exciting to watch him grow and tackle new milestones it's also kind of sad knowing that he's most likely my last baby. I say most likely because my heart isn't ready to say that I'm 100% sure that my family is complete. I'm closing the baby door but I'm not locking it. If I was younger I think a third could happen. If I meet someone in the next few years maybe there could be another little one. If I win the lottery there absolutely would be more children. I let my heart hold on to those "ifs" but as T is outgrowing things they are leaving my house. Tiny clothes and baby gear is not being put away for another baby. Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-55449327593949191992013-03-08T00:39:00.000-05:002013-03-08T00:39:50.472-05:003!!!My sweet little O is now 3! (YIKES)<br />
I remember the day he was born and thinking how unreal it was that someday he would be 3 and how far off that seemed. Now I just can't believe how quickly it got here. These past 3 years have been so full of joy and love. I've enjoyed every minute with my boy and I'm just so grateful that I get to be his Mom.<br />
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He loves to "chug" (play with his trains) and will happily do so for many hours a day. His trains have great adventures and nothing makes him happier than having me or his grandmother chug with him. I always feel so guilty if we get to the end of the day and I hadn't found a few minutes to chug. <br />
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He has developed quite an independent streak and it makes me a little nuts. His need to do something or get something himself can strike at anytime and O.M.G. the whining if you have dared to get him a spoon or pour some milk in his cup. The only way to make it stop is to let him put the spoon back in the drawer/milk in the fridge/jacket back on the hook so that he can re-do the task himself. Did I mention that it makes me nuts?<br />
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He's still very snuggly and loves to give out hugs and kisses. Every morning I'm greeted with the biggest smile and the best kisses. He then has to check on his baby brother and give him a kiss too. It's adorable.<br />
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Bed time is my favorite time of day (and not just because I might get some time to myself). We read a few stories and then we cuddle up close. We talk about trains, upcoming plans, trains and recap our day. Then I have to sing him his favorite song over and over until he falls asleep. The song changes every few weeks and he just replaced "So long, Farewell" from the So.und of M.us.ic to the Bea.tles "I W.ill". <br />
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His favorite foods are black beans and black olives - but they can't touch. EVER.<br />
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Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-83889738338014652182013-02-11T23:45:00.000-05:002013-02-11T23:45:06.552-05:002 isn't twice the workHaving 2 kids isn't just twice the work it's more like 14 times the work. I'm exhausted! Happily exhausted. Mr. O is a whirlwind of GO! GO! GO! and keeping up with him is tough enough without also having to take care of another tiny human. I wish there was a way to get the posts in my brain blogged without me having to actually type them. Since that isn't possible I'm going to have to give up the idea that a post has to be perfect and just post the 3 or 300 words that I can manage at any time. There are too many things that I want to put here that are getting lost because I keep thinking that I'll have time later. Later never happens! <br />
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Little T is a dream baby and so laid back. He's a great sleeper and actually takes naps. O never did and it is sooo nice to have a baby that naps. We've been having some trouble with weight gain lately so I started solids a little earlier than I had planned. I had to start with jarred baby food because I have to add some calorie boosters and need to be able to measure servings and calories (also not as I had planned). Once we get back on track and he's sitting up on his own we'll transition to baby led weaning - at least that is that plan. <br />
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Mr. O is 13 days away from being 3. OMG, 3! How does that happen? Too fast, too fast! He is amazing. I love watching him love on his little brother. He tells him all the time that he loves him and that he has to eat so that he can be big enough to play trains with him.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-85135142521788958852012-11-30T01:35:00.000-05:002012-11-30T01:35:20.629-05:00The diagnosis aka baby's first curve ballNow that the introduction is out of the way I'll fill in the details.<br />
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Pregnancy was tough. I struggled physically and emotionally the entire time. So much was going on and I wanted to share but every time I sat down to write about what was going on I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't write these words... <em>My son has Do.wn sy.ndro.me</em>. <br />
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I had said that I wanted to blog more during the pregnancy because I wanted to remember all the details. I just couldn't do it after I got the diagnosis. The emotions were too big and too raw. I didn't want to hear 'I'm sorry'. I'm not sorry. He's amazing! I was/am so very worried about the journey ahead of us and the incredible task I have of being battle ready and making sure he gets everything he needs to succeed.<br />
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I was nauseous constantly and had a really hard time keeping food in my stomach. I thought it was miserable when I was pregnant with Mr. O but this time around it was even worse. I felt so terrible all the time and tried to stay as still as possible. Not an easy thing to do with a toddler! <br />
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The emotional stuff was even tougher. My NT scan and blood work was done in late February when I was about 11 weeks. The scan looked ok but the blood work came back that my odds for having a baby with Ds was 1:4. I found out there was some concern when the hospital called me to schedule an amnio and genetic counseling. The poor lady on the phone! Usually the news comes first from your doctor and this was just the beginning of how they mishandled things. When I called the doctor's office to find out why they had referred me she told me the results and really pushed hard for additional testing. I told her that I wanted to wait and see if there were additional markers at the level II ultrasound closer to 20 weeks because I wasn't going to use the information to make any decisions and I'm not all that fond of large needles. She continued to push for finding out for sure now so that I could consider terminating because I'm a single mom and needed to think of my other child. Why I didn't hang up and immediately find a new doctor I just don't know! ( I did switch obs later)<br />
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I thought about it for a few days and decided that waiting until 20 weeks was going to make me crazy. I wanted to know either way now so that I could either stop worrying or start preparing. I would also be able to find out sooner if baby was going to be a boy or a girl. I had a CVS test done at a high risk practice in a big hospital. The staff was amazing. The doctor was so kind and I liked him immediately even though he was poking me with a giant needle. The results were back a few days later and baby was a boy and he did have Ds. <br />
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Initially the news was heart breaking and it took some time to find my balance. I'm still stumbling a bit from time to time. There were lots of tears and guilt. Thankfully most of my fears were based on lack of knowledge. I didn't really know anything about Ds and most of what I thought I knew was based on outdated stereotypes. The more I found out the less tragic it seemed. What Ds looks like today is so different than 40 years ago. Heck, even 10 years ago. Early intervention has made such a difference on outcomes that there is no reason to doubt that my little guy will be able to do anything that he's willing to work hard for. College? Absolutely! Marriage? Heck, maybe he'll manage to succeed where I've failed! <br />
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Now that he's here I can honestly say that I rarely think about his extra chromosome. He's just a baby and just like any other baby his future is a bright shiny unknown of amazing potential. <br />
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Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-71028200777042992232012-11-28T00:34:00.001-05:002012-11-28T00:34:29.495-05:00Introducing Baby Brother<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Baby brother decided to make a surprise early appearance and was born at 33 weeks on July 20. This little guy has been full of surprises from the beginning and seems to enjoy shaking things up and challenging me in mostly delightful but sometimes terrifying ways. He spent 8.3 long weeks in the NICU flirting with nurses and I'm just so grateful to finally have him home and healthy. <br />
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<br />Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-68832918430154918682012-06-14T22:23:00.002-04:002012-06-14T22:23:17.249-04:00Countdown has begunBaby's arrival has been scheduled and he will be making his big debut on Aug 22. I only have 9 weeks to decide on a name and get everything ready. I had another ultrasound last week and baby is looking good. They will do another growth scan next month to make sure that he's still growing like he should. I've finally stopped feeling nauseous all the time and only threw up 3 times this past week. Woo Hoo! <br />
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Mr. O's newborn clothes have made it out of storage so that I can go through them and see what will be seasonally appropriate for baby brother. I also need to find a coming home outfit - not too fancy but not too lame. I'm not having much luck so far.<br />
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Block Incident Resolution: Mr. O finally put his blocks away on the 5th day and since then he's been much more agreeable about putting something away before taking out the next toy. Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-20057300681215673312012-05-24T22:55:00.001-04:002012-05-24T22:55:18.741-04:00Life with a toddlerI've been working on getting Mr. O to clean up his toys and put them away before moving on to the next play thing. He's not in agreement with this crazy idea of mine.<br />
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We are currently on day 3 of the Block Incident. He was playing with blocks the other day and then wanted to move on to puzzles. I told him that he could have the puzzles after he put the blocks away. He told me that he didn't want to put the blocks away and asked a few more times for the puzzles. I just kept telling him that he could have them once the blocks were put away. We've done the same back and forth now for 3 days. The blocks are still all over the floor and he hasn't gotten to play with puzzles. He totally gets what is going on but he's waiting it out to see if I'll crack first. I almost did tonight after he fell asleep but I'm kind of amused and curious to see how long it will be until he cracks.<br />
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and I just realized that I got the colors mixed up in my last post. Mr. O knows the correct color (or object) he just wants you to agree with him so he can correct you.<br />
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Dr. appt with new OB tomorrow and they will be doing an ultrasound to check on baby brother's growth. Can't wait to get another peek at the little guy.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-12851310842807201032012-05-19T22:16:00.001-04:002012-05-24T22:35:39.014-04:0024 WeeksWow, already 24 weeks. This time around things seems to be going along much quicker.<br />
I had planned on blogging more because I wish that I had done so the first time but so far it hasn't happened. Just like last time I'm still dealing with lots of nausea and vomiting. It's so not pleasant.<br />
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I'm going on the hospital tour tomorrow and it seems crazy that I'm already checking those kinds of things off of my list. I have lots that I want to get done before the baby arrives and 3ish months seems like forever and too fast all at the same time. <br />
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Mr. O is growing and amazing me every day. The stuff that comes out of his mouth lately is hilarious. He's even started telling jokes. He'll point to something like a red car and declare it blue. I'll tell him that it's red but he'll insist that it's blue. I'll give in after a few attempts and say "you're right, it's blue" then the little comedian will giggle and say "No mama, it's RED". <br />
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Oh and yes, baby is going to be another boy! I'm sad that I won't be able to stock up on cute dresses and hair bows but a baby brother is a wonderful thing.<br />
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<br />Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-75403210683793661892012-03-18T10:43:00.000-04:002012-03-18T10:43:01.604-04:00I never intend for it to be so long between posts!I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant so I guess those beta results were good enough. Morning sickness (ALL DAY!) kicked in a few weeks earlier this time around and good grief it has been miserable. It's been really difficult to function while always feeling like I'm going to toss my cookies. I eat things based on how easy it will be to puke them up later because odds are I will. Poor Mr. O will hear me in the bathroom and shout out "You ok, mama? Why are you crying?". <br />
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Other than that baby is growing and doing well. Every time I get a peek at him on the ultrasound he's very active and dancing all over the place. <br />
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I really wish that I had blogged more when I was pregnant last time so I'm really going to try harder to be more active here this time around. Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-67484752390603549922012-01-03T14:33:00.002-05:002012-01-03T14:33:50.036-05:00Results from beta #2<br />
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13 dpo = 30<br />
15 dpo = 79<br />
doubling time of 34.36 hours<br />
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I'm thrilled that it did slightly better than double but I'm still not convinced that this one is going to stick around.<br />
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The nurse I spoke to today was in no mood to entertain thoughts of a viability scan. She kept telling me that I wouldn't be able to see anything because it was too early. I told her I wasn't asking for one now but for her to schedule one for 2ish weeks from now. She didn't even care that the doctor had already signed off on it. She told me that I could ask the doctor myself when I see her at my first appt on the 27th. I don't think I like her.<br />
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I'm not really feeling any different other than some cramping and things smelling weird.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-46878779197393649382012-01-01T17:24:00.000-05:002012-01-01T17:35:52.681-05:00A late xmas gift<br />
It looks like Mr. O might be a big brother in the fall.<br />
I tested and saw a very faint line at 12dpo and called my regular ob to see if they would do some blood work. The nurse I spoke to was awesome! She's my new BFF! My old OB doesn't do maternity anymore so the nurse got a different doctor to agree to two betas 48 hours apart and a viability scan around 6 weeks if I get that far. It was so nice to talk to someone who 'gets' the need to know NOW. My first beta came back at 30. Not too bad for 13dpo but not a rock star number either. I had my blood drawn for the second test yesterday but because of the holiday I won't get the results until Tuesday. I'm really worried about another early miscarriage. I wish it was Tuesday already. <br />
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I haven't told anyone yet so please don't mention it if we're friends in another forum or on FB just yet. I am definitely going to wait until after Tuesday to tell my family - maybe even longer than that. <br />
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I'm honestly still kind of in denial/shock that it actually worked. 2012 is going to be an interesting year!<br />
<br />Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-42942619696444504742011-12-16T17:21:00.000-05:002012-01-01T17:23:42.166-05:00On to round 3I got a positive opk yesterday afternoon and called the new place first thing this morning to get an appt. It was a bit frustrating because they had to first reach the person on call to see when they could come in before they could schedule something. Luckily I didn't have anywhere that I had to be today but I can see that maybe being a problem on a busier day. Then again nothing about waiting for O and scheduling an IUI is ever convenient. I had to take Mr. O with me because no one was around to watch him. If I was still going to the fancy clinic I might have considering cancelling because the last thing I would want to do is parade him through the waiting room. It wasn't a big deal at the new place because they are a regular practice so I didn't have to worry about it.<br />
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The midwife on call was very sweet and I barely felt a thing. She said that everything was looking good. I started to get killer O cramps later in the afternoon so I'm hoping that means that I got the timing right. <br />
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Fingers crossed that the 3rd time is a charm.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-61869501698753961982011-12-09T17:07:00.000-05:002012-01-01T17:12:53.676-05:00Change can be goodAfter my November cycle ended with a BFN my RE wanted to get more aggressive and start monitoring and possibly some meds. I wasn't ready emotionally or financially because honestly I wasn't worried that the first two cycles didn't work. I asked around and made a last minute switch from the expensive big fancy clinic to a small ob office. They do the IUI's for less than half the cost and maybe 2% of the hassle. I wish I had known about them before because it would have saved me lots of money over the years. If anyone near Boston wants the info just send me an email and I would be happy to share.<br />
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I had to go in for an initial consult with the Dr and to get a quick overview of how they work but that was it. No blood work or hoops to jump through! The office staff seemed very nice and working with a SMC is so not a big deal to them. They see us all the time!<br />
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I decided to order just one vial because in addition to not getting stuck with any in storage I wanted to make sure that I'm going to stick with this new place.<br />
<br />Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-40902997202283401002011-12-03T08:16:00.000-05:002011-12-04T08:24:33.230-05:00Strike 2SIGH! and we are on to the next cycle.<br />
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I was planning on taking December off but once CD1 showed it's face I changed my mind. I'm trying to decide if I want 2 more vials or just go one at a time. The advantage of 2 is that I can combine the crazy shipping cost. I really don't want to be stuck with an extra vial WHEN this works and then have to either keep paying storage fees or let them pour the vial down the drain. Ugh! I'm trying to decide if in the end I'll be more annoyed about the cost of wasting a vial or the cost of the shipping.<br />
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I know that I could always donate or try to sell any extra vials but that could end up being a big hassle too.<br />
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Mostly I'm just really over this whole TTC thing. I just really really hate the whole process.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-39885233169328650612011-11-23T00:23:00.001-05:002011-11-23T00:37:01.859-05:00Timing wish granted3 Days down and 11 more to go of this TWW<br />
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I got lucky and the timing worked out for me this cycle. I got a positive OPK on Saturday and IUI was on Sunday. Testing was an adventure because I was out all day and had to do the OPK in a public restroom stall. Those digital tests take FOREVER and I wasn't really enjoying hanging out in the stall until it finally finished. The long line of folks waiting to use the restroom weren't too happy about it either. If they only knew why I was hogging the stall!<br />
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I really, really hope that it worked this time because I'm so ready to move past the TTC part. If this cycle ends with a BFN I'll be sitting out December. I just can't deal with all of the scheduling logistics in addition to the usual holiday stress and rushing around. I'll also have to order more vials from the bank and I won't be able to do that until January.<br />
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<br />Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-61869126771749989572011-11-13T22:21:00.001-05:002011-11-13T22:43:11.860-05:00Ready for round 2...if the timing is right<br />
I was so disappointed that I got knocked out of the running a few days early and I didn't feel one tiny bit of relief. I guess that means that I'm 100% on board for #2.<br />
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Fitting in an IUI this cycle is going to be rough. I'm probably going to ovulate over the weekend and I might not be able to get out of work. I would hate to skip a cycle now that I've gotten started. Not to get too ahead of myself but the EDD for this cycle would be August and that would mean that my long distance sister would be able be here. Skipping this month doesn't mean that I won't run into the same scheduling problem next cycle either so I'm going to have to figure out how to make it work. Ugh!<br />
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Oh yeah, notice how I mentioned working? I started a part-time job a few months ago. I decided that I needed a practice job to get used to leaving Mr. O before jumping back into working a regular full-time job. I absolutely realize how lucky I am to have been able to stay home with him for as long as I have but that doesn't make leaving him suck any less. I only work a few days a week and my mother watches him for me. That has been going ok but has been quite the lesson in learning to bite my tongue and let go of the little things. She's great with him but let's just say that she has her own way of doing things (or not doing things!). Mr. O enjoys his time with his Grandmother after about 3 or 4 hours he's ready for Mommy to come home. He also doesn't like if I'm away for back to back days. <br />
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I used my 11:11 on 11/11 wish to wish for not getting a postive opk until Saturday. Let's hope it gets granted.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-40548378245669744072011-11-07T23:04:00.001-05:002011-11-07T23:04:22.476-05:00Unexpected and unwelcomeCD1 made a surprise early appearance so it's on to the next cycle. Booooooo!Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-85812209551234369282011-11-05T23:26:00.000-04:002011-11-05T23:26:08.473-04:00Getting all caught upOctober had lots of forward movement on the TTC front.<br />
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I had called my RE's office in July and had an initial consult to find out what hoops I needed to jump through in order to be treated again. I had to sign updated consent forms and my doctor wanted me to re-do all of the day 3 blood work and STD stuff. My insurance doesn't cover fertility stuff so I went to see my regular ob/gyn and had her order the tests. She also ordered an ultrasound to check on the fibroid I have hanging out on my uterus. I had all of that done in August and everything came back fine. I benched myself in August and September for various reasons. October started and once all of the impending ovulation signs showed up I just felt like this was the month. I called the bank and purchased two vials on CD 9, I got a positive OPK on CD 12 and on CD 13 I had an IUI. Just like that. <br />
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I'm currently on day 9 of my TWW and I'm going to test maybe tomorrow but definitely Monday. <br />
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And now I'm all caught up. <br />
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oh and the TWW sucks just as much as I remember.Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-87601298858324062052011-11-04T23:00:00.000-04:002011-11-05T02:02:16.959-04:00Thoughts about trying for 2<em>I actually started writing this a month ago -</em><br />
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Way back when I was still a thinker I spent a LOT of time thinking about becoming a SMC. I really wanted to be a mother but I kept pushing out my deadline for making it happen on my own. My reasons for delaying then were that I was still hoping that I would find a partner and that I was way too concerned about what other people would think (including my future child). Once I worked through all those feelings and found peace with the fact that I was meant to walk this SMC path I couldn't wait to get started. Every little delay was so painful and frustrating! Now I wish that I could go back and tell my younger self to get over myself and get moving sooner!<br />
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I've spent some time thinking about adding another child to my family. I know that I want more than one child and I'm sure that if/when it happens that it will be wonderful. So why am I taking my sweet ol' time making it happen? Time I might add that I don't really have (I'm 40 and not getting any younger!).<br />
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The frustrating delays this time around have all been on me and I haven't been one tiny bit frustrated by them. I could have tried the last two cycles and I found a reason both times not to pursue it. I'm already looking for reasons not to try next month. Obviously I'm still not listening to Future Me because I'm sure I'll also look back and wish that I had started round two much sooner.<br />
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Why am I dragging my feet?<br />
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I'm loving the little life that I have right now with my Mr. O. He's growing up so fast and I'm constantly wishing that I could freeze time. Shaking our lives up in such a major way seems like it will take away from this little honeymoon period I have going on right now.<br />
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I'm not so much worried but I do think a little bit about what others might say about my choice to have another baby. I have felt nothing but overwhelming support from my family and friends so I'm not sure why I think it would be anything different if I were to add another child. I almost feel like they will think that I'm being greedy. Most likely that is just my own baggage that I'm projecting onto to others.<br />
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Financially I'm not in the best place right now but I'm not going to let that stop me. Life can change in an instant and if I waited for the perfect time then I would still be thinking about having children and I wouldn't already be someones Mom.<br />
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Why am I so sure that my family isn't complete?<br />
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I really don't want my son to be an only child. Anytime I think that I would be ok with just one child I think about how much I hate the thought of Mr. O not having any siblings. <br />Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-58302252983098839482011-11-01T01:40:00.000-04:002011-11-05T01:40:44.201-04:00My thoughts on Donor UnknownI hope that everyone who wanted to see Donor Unknown had the chance to do so. I found it to be really interesting and well done.<br />
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While watching it I kept trying to imagine my son as part of the journey these kids were on. I hung on their every word and expression looking for clues as to how he might feel in the future. When they talked about their parents and how they were told about being donor conceived I focused even harder looking for tips on how to have those very same conversations in my family. Tips for how to make sure my son would be ok with how he came to be.<br />
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I found it to be very reassuring to see that the kids were finding lots of comfort in getting to know other donor siblings. It reinforced my thinking that reaching out and making contact with other families that used the same donor can only be a good thing for Mr. O. <br />
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I loved the contrast of Jeffery talking about how he viewed his donations as calling out to souls with the tour of the donation rooms and how they got exceedingly graphic. It was nice to see that it wasn't just about the money for him and that he gave some thought to fact that life would be created from his samples.<br />
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I thought it was really clever how they showed the photo of Jeffery slowly loading on to the screen as the girl talked about how she recognized each feature as it came into view. It was a great metaphor for her journey of discovery. Each new clue or connection to the other half of her genetic identity was uncovered at the speed of an ancient dial up connection. The parents make their donor decision and then move on but these kids are searching and every little crumb of information is so valuable to them. The simplest details on a donor profile, recognizing their eyebrows on a half sibling or a photo of the donor. <br />
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What did you think?Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2354438071674104767.post-24753723584456305852011-10-19T23:23:00.003-04:002011-10-19T23:23:32.895-04:00Donor Unknown airing on PBS in the USThe documentary "Donor Unknown" about the adult children of a common sperm donor finding each other and their anonymous father will be airing in the US this week as part of PBS's Independent Lens film program. You can find more info and when it will be airing at <a href="http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/donor-unknown">www.pbs.org/independentlens/donor-unknown</a><br />
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I was able to catch this last spring when it was showing online and found it be very interesting. If you watch it I'd love to hear what you thought. I plan on watching it again and this time I will be sure to share my thoughts as well. <a href="http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/donor-unknown/"></a>Meghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07307479510589425666noreply@blogger.com4