Saturday, January 31, 2009

Looking for more distractions

I'm looking for some new places to hang out online. I'm stocking up on places to obsess over this month so I don't focus on too much on every twinge and yawn.

In addition to the blogs that I stalk I also check out these hot spots:
SMC, ChoiceMom and DSR yahoo groups
and of course cake wrecks

Where do you hang out online when there are no baby heads to sniff?

Friday, January 30, 2009

I'm really doing this

They called back today and I bought those last 2 vials. I hung up the phone and I was grinning like a goof and bit teary eyed at having made such a huge leap forward. I didn't even hesitate when I heard the total amount (that might come later when I see the statement).
I'm really doing this.

On the road again

CD1 has arrived!
It was this time last year that my fibroid detour started but now the wait is finally over!

I was making calls like a crazy lady today.
Clinic finance office to arrange payment for the cycle, Nurse Sperminator to get final instructions and the sperm bank to order Mic.

I was all set to go with donor #2 and when I called they thought they only had 2 vials. They were supposed to call me back but haven't yet. Now I'm rethinking my choice in canned men because I would want to use the same donor for baby #2. That is of course assuming that I manage to get baby #1. They do have more unwashed vials but my clinic won't do the washing necessary for an IUI. I'm still leaning towards using him anyway and keeping my fingers crossed that more vials will turn up in the future.

Monday, January 26, 2009

It's going to be a long month

It's been a busy few weeks. Choosing a donor, looking for a dark line and a side trip to somewhere warm.

I've looked at donors before and just gotten stuck. Unable to make a decision and unable to move forward. Not this time! I'm so much more comfortable and confident on this path and I think that really made the difference when it came time to pick a donor. I wanted open ID, adult photo, similar ethnic background, bonus info that can be purchased at a later time and an essay that didn't creep me out. Once I narrowed down my choices I checked out the donor sibling registry to see if there were already matches. I took one off the list because there were no matches and one because there were too many. I'm now trying to decide between my top 2.


Pros: looks the most like my family, has more bonus info, is older than me and is married with children of his own.

Con: The essay kind of creeps me out but only a little

I feel like the fact that he is older and has children means that he will be more likely to make himself available to answer any questions when the child comes of age.


Pros: The essay makes him seem like a normal guy and if I have a child who is going to fixate on every word available I can live with what was written. There are some clues in the essay and photos.

Con: Not as much bonus info. It will be interesting to see who has the dominate genes when it comes to hair and eye color.

I think I got a sign directing me to pick #2. I was in the airport last week and as I was rushing to my gate past all the people I was thinking about how strange it is that one of them could be the donor or know the donor. I found myself wondering if that is what my child might be thinking anytime they were in a crowd. I then saw someone walking toward me with a sweatshirt from the same college town that I suspect #2 came from. It was very surreal.

Oh, and major con: Holy Smokes is it expensive! I knew it was expensive to use a donor but now that I'm actually forking over the cash I'm just ill with the thought of it not working and wasting all that money. I'm also very annoyed at the evil extra fees. It just seems like they take advantage at every opportunity.

I took Pepper and Jess's advice and tried to find a positive with OPKs. I tried the match the intensity of the color of the line to another line type and I'm 90% sure I caught the surge correctly. I do admit that after so many BFNs I got a little too excited that I peed on something that turned positive. I've been really anxious about getting the timing right next month so I decided to spend a little extra and get the digital smiley face OPKs. I'm planning on using the compare the color of the line tests and confirming with the digital. What's another $60 for OPKs when I'm spending a gazillion on sperm.

I went to visit my little nephew last weekend in Florida and he drew lots of pictures of me holding babies. He has a friend with a new baby sister so he's got babies on the brain (just like me!). Lets hope the 4 year old's drawings bring me some luck.

I'm getting really excited to finally be back to trying. I'm finding it to be almost impossible to contain the hope of it working. I really want it to work. I have enough in my savings to cover one try with out it hurting the household budget too much. I'm already 5 steps ahead and thinking how wonderful it would be to have an October birthday. It's going to be a long month.

Friday, January 2, 2009

The appointment and finally getting the shot

RE appt: My RE's office is right next to a blood draw lab. Actually, it's sort of behind the lab so the waiting room is a small former office right next to the lab behind the lab check-in station. Why is this important? 1) Needles and blood make me kind of swoony and watching it happen to others was only a little less upsetting than having it happen to me. 2) Perfectly cute round preggo belly lady leading her toddler to certain death by blood test - at least that's what the kid made it sound like with all the screaming. Mom just rubbed her belly. 3) On the way out I had to side step someone puking in the trash can because apparently there is someone more allergic to needles than I am.

The actual appointment was so much better than that last time I was there. The second thyroid level was wonderfully normal. She wants to check it again in a few months just to be sure the first one was a fluke. The timing of the vaccine means that my 30 day wait after the shot will be just about when I'm due to ovulate in January. This means that I have to sit out January but will be good to go in February. I talked with my soon to be new best friend aka the nurse who will be performing the IUI's and she walked me through how the whole thing will work in regards to scheduling and timing. I had to sign some consent forms and she made sure to print out the single gal forms. No one made a fuss about the fact that I'm doing this on my own and I didn't feel judged or embarrassed one little bit. I call Nurse Sperminator on Feb. CD1 and then again when I get a postive on OPK. Easy Peasy, right? Let's hope so.
I decided that going with the cheaper midwife wasn't going to work for me because as much as I love a bargain I just wasn't comfortable that she had enough experience in dealing with the logistics of using sperm from a bank. Mic is an expensive fellow and it just wouldn't seem right to bring him through the drive through for a happy meal.

The shot:
My appt was supposed to be for 12/22 but when I called to confirm they told me that they meant to schedule me for 12/23. I was seriously annoyed because I was still thinking it was possible to avoid sitting out January. When I got to office the nurse told me that she couldn't just give me the shot because they have to test me first to see if I needed it.... yeah, my head almost exploded too. I stayed calm and reminded her that the tests had already been done and she should have the faxed results (as she requested). They couldn't find them so they had to call the RE and ask for them again before they would give me the shot. Good grief, it's not like I was asking for pain meds or something even remotely fun.

Now I just have to finalize my Mic choice. Remember that horrible reality show Who wants to Marry a Millionaire? I'm thinking of producing my own show to help narrow down the choices - Who wants to jerk off in this cup?