Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Who's on First

It was a nice break to not be peeing on anything for two weeks. I was disappointed that I didn't get lucky with my first IUI but it wasn't a crushing blow. I will look at it as my practice shot. I'm currently on CD13 and holy moly is there lots of CM. I'm thinking that I should be getting a positive OPK in the next few days.

One thing I have been thinking about is how I will spread the news once I manage to get pregnant. Who should I tell first? I won't get to tell a husband in some cutesy way so I want the telling to count. I want to think this through before I'm actually in the excitement of the moment. It's an honor to be the first to know and I don't want to write in the baby book that I told random dude at the gas station first - or worse that I blurted it out to some casual friend that just happened to be at the drugstore when I was buying more pregnancy tests. Like everything else in life the question of who should be told first is further complicated by family drama.

There are a few people that I will tell early on because they are the ones that I would want around if anything were to happen. It's the order of the telling that I'm stumped on.

My Mother - It would mean a lot to her if I tell her first. My sisters did not tell her first and her feelings were hurt. Once I tell my mother she'll cry and squeal with delight immediately followed by "who did you tell first?" and then pout for the rest of her life if the answer isn't that it was her. Another thing that counts against my mother is that she's really bad at keeping a secret. She thinks she didn't tell anyone if she only told her sister, the neighbors and a few of her friends, etc. My mother will ask lots of questions about the donor and the process (her version of this information will be included in the newspaper ad that she will take out). She will also be pissed that I didn't ask her to perform the IUI. Ok, that was an exaggeration. She'll be pissed that she didn't get to assist during the IUI. Ok, she'll just be pissed that she didn't get to be in the room during the IUI. My mother knows that I'm thinking about having a child but she has no idea that I have started trying.

My sisters - I live with one of them and the other is in Florida. They are both aware that I am planning on doing this but neither one of them has asked me about it or checked in to see where I am in the process. They also have no idea that I have started trying. I had mentioned to them over the summer that I didn't think they were as supportive as our cousin. They talked to each other about how they were offended that I thought that but haven't really made an effort to reach out. If I bring it up they will listen but they don't offer active support.

My cousin - This is who I want to tell first. She has been so supportive. She checks in and asks me how it's going. She's not intrusive and is willing to listen to the details or back off if I give her a vague answer. She is the only one who knows that I have put the plan in to action.

I have to figure out what is more important. Telling who I want or letting my Mom have her moment. Maybe Mom knowing first will soften the blow when I tell her that she won't be in the room for the c-section. That will be my sister since she can manage to take photos without her thumb in them.


Pepper said...

Is it bad to tell your mom a white lie? And can your cousin keep a secret? Cause I'm thinking maybe you could tell your cousin first and then tell your mom when you're ready, letting her believe she was the first.

And remember, it's your news to tell whenever and to whomever you choose.

Tanya said...

I'm all about fibbing to mom on this one. Tell your cousin first but don't tell mom she wasn't the first to know.

Of course, I'm all about not actually fibbing. I'd say something like "I thought you'd want to be the first to know" when she asks who you've told already and just omit the fact that you thought she would like to be first... but she wasn't.

Billy said...

Ditto on Pepper & Tanya - tell your cousin first, but stretch the truth with your mother :-).

Dora said...

DUH!!! You tell the internets first!!!!

Love Tanya's non-fib fib. Very clever. Geez, your mom's gonna want to cut the cord, too. OY! Tell her that because you love her so much, you're going to let her change the poopiest diapers.