"Donor Unknown" documentary streaming for free on Friday

The documentary "Donor Unknown" is part of the tribeca film festival and will be streaming online for free this Friday.


Here is a synopsis from the film's site

..."Donor Unknown follows JoEllen from her discovery of her siblings, to the moment Jeffrey steps forward to identify himself as Donor 150, to her decision to travel to California to meet him. Along the way, we meet Danielle in New York, who was not told by her parents that she was donor-conceived till the age of 14, and is uncertain of the kind of relationship she could ever sustain with Jeffrey; Rachelle in Memphis, who is not sure if she ever wants to meet him; Ryann and Roxanne, who live in California and have already established some kind of relationship with Jeffrey; and Fletcher, 19, who decides the time is right to follow JoEllen on her journey to meet their donor father.

At the centre of the film is Jeffrey, living with his dogs and his pigeon in a car park by the beach, and preparing his broken-down RV for the arrival of JoEllen and Fletcher. At 52, his sperm donor days are over but his story has cast him in the role of an unlikely pioneer. His decision to cast aside his donor anonymity to meet them is a step few donors have taken.

Donor Unknown is a film about a new kind of ‘family’. Linked by their connection to a single sperm donor – 150 - parents and children are creating and navigating a new set of relationships. They are discovering first hand what a close biological connection to a stranger means for themselves and their identity. What happens next opens up some fascinating questions about nature and nurture, the responsibilities of parenthood, the moral integrity of the cryobanks, and the hazards of genetic inheritance. As the laws on donor anonymity change in some countries, there are fewer sperm donors and there’s a roaring trade in ‘fertility tourism’, for overseas sperm and egg donation."

In order to watch it you will need to create a log-in and "reserve a seat"

If anyone else watches it I'd love to talk more about what you thought of it.

Registration now open for the Boston Choice Mom networking event

Registration is now open for the Boston area Choice Mom networking event to be held on June 26.

For more information check out the Choice Mom website.


ETA: This is event is for everyone no matter where you are on the Choice Mom/SMC journey - thinkers, tryers and already moms

Meeting and making connections

I want to connect with fellow SMCs/Choice Moms in the Boston/New England area - no matter where you are on the journey. Now that Mr. O is here I feel that it's even more important for me to make an effort to connect face to face with other SMCs because I want him to see other families like ours. I was all excited a few months ago about the possibility of Mikki Morrissette hosting a Choice Mom networking event in Boston this June but now it's looking like it might not happen because there isn't enough interest. Where is everyone hiding?

Those of you in other areas how do you connect with other SMCs? Any suggestions for organizing meet ups? Where do you hang out online to connect with others?

Tag I'm it

Getting tagged by Navigating the Rapids came at the perfect time because I've been looking for things to kickstart the writing over here.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?

No pets. Growing up I had pet cats but they were more like the relatives you tolerated. I guess they were the cousin Olivers of the family.

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?

Sappy but I feel like my dream has already come true now that Mr. O is here.

3. What would you do with a billion dollars?

A billion dollars and not having to worry about money would be the bee's knees! The first thing I would do is take all of my nieces and nephews on a fun trip to see the Mouse. I would make sure my immediate family was taken care of and there would be lots of travel for me and the boy. Honestly though a billion dollars is too much money and I would love to use the majority of it to do some good. So many people need just a little bit of help to do great things.


4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

Lately it's a smooch, giggle or silly face from Mr. O.


5. What is your bedtime routine?

My routine is that I don't really have a routine. After dinner and clean up Mr. O plays with his toys until bedtime and then it's off to be we go. Sometimes there is a story but not every night. Once he's asleep I get some internet time.


6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other? If you aren’t, what have you tried in the past few years to meet someone?

My most significant relationship in the last few years was with a frozen vial of swimmers.

I've tried all the usual ways of meeting someone and it just hasn't worked out. Yet.

7. What kind of books do you read?

I used to read books all the time but now I spend most of my reading time online. I'm kind of a literature snob so if I do make time to read it's usually something you would find on an English class reading list.


8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?

Hopefully spending some of that billion dollars! 10 years from now I hope to be the mother of two (three??!!) and that I've finally met my Mr. Right. I want a job that allows me lots of time at home and pays the bills.


9. What’s your fear?

That something will happen to me and I won't get to see my son grow up and have children of his own.


10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?

Um, no! What's so great about outerspace? However, I would give up junk food for a billion dollars.

11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

We're still co-sleeping so the first thing is nurse the boy and hope that he will doze off for a few minutes. That hardly ever happens so we snuggle and talk about what we should do with our day. Ok, I talk he listens and tries to stick his fingers in my eye or up my nose.


12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be? Or, if you’re single - if you could choose a significant other who looked like anyone in the world, who would it be?

I would change the fact that he's invisible.

13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

I like my name just fine.


14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?

I would go with the rain. I like chilly sweater weather and being huddled up inside.


15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

Pizza is the perfect food


16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?

I like the community that I've found through blogging. I get so much out of connecting with and hearing other SMC's stories. I like that I can look back at what I've written and realize how far I've come on my journey.


18. What items are in your purse right now?

I've never been a purse person. I used to just carry a wallet with money and credit cards. Now I have a backpack with my wallet and 20 lbs of baby gear. (diapers, wipes, extra clothes, cheerios, toys, etc)


19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?

Mountains. I'm not a big fan of sun and hot.

20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?

Shouldn't? How about what I'm almost ashamed to admit. Hoarders. I just don't understand that kind of crazy.


I'm not going to tag anyone in particular but consider yourself tagged if you want to be.

and just like that he's 1

Mr. O celebrated his 1st birthday last week and I'm still wondering how it's possible that not only do I have a baby but that he's a whole year old. This past year has been the most amazing and full of so much joy. This past year has also flown by at triple speed.

O is growing and changing every day. He's finally sprouted some teeth in the last few weeks and while I miss the gummy grin the tiny teeth are too adorable. He's still looks like a little baldy but there is some fuzz growing. He doesn't say much that I can understand but everytime he says "Momma" my heart swoons.

2010 I love you and I'm sorry to see you go

2010 was a very good year and for the first time in my life I'm a little sad to see a year end. I'm sure 2011 has lots of exciting and wonderful things to offer but it will be tough to top 2010. 2010 was the year my sweet baby dream came true.

When I look at pictures of myself from the past year I'm amazed at all the happy oozing out of my smile. I look like a different person. I am a different person. I'm Mr. O's Mom. I'm finally a mom.

In the past my New Year's post was all about how next year would be the year. Thank you 2010 for being the year.

Happy New Year bloggy friends and I hope with all of my heart that 2011 is your year.

Feeding for all to see

The last of the started but not finished until now posts from the draft folder.
I hesitated to put this one out there at first because bre.astfe.eding (BF) is one of those topics that usually end up in battles or tears. I know that I'm incredibly lucky that BF has worked out so well for me and that for some folks it isn't so easy or sadly even an option. I believe that we all make the best choices we can for our babies and ourselves and if someone doesn't agree then they can $!#$!! It truly doesn't matter how we feed our babies - just that we do.



Nur.sing my boy has been an unexpected joy. When I was pregnant the plan was to give BF a try and see how it goes. I liked that it was free and good for the boy but mostly I was digging on the free. I would read about women who love, LOVE, love the BF relationship and are sad when it ends and I admit I just didn't understand what the big deal was. It's just a way to feed your kid and you don't hear anyone gushing over spoonfulls of chee.rios, right? Well, I'm still not gushing but I think I kind of get it now. It's both a physical and an emotional thing. My body responds to his hunger cues and schedule and if I don't nurse him the full feeling is a tingly kind of uncomfortable. I love being all snuggled up together while he's eating. I can look down at that tiny face and nuzzle his fuzzy little head. These days he's so busy moving around and trying to get in to things that the only time he'll sit still for a cuddle is when he's eating.

I was a BF baby but growing up all of my cousins were formula fed and being the oldest of all those cousins I helped feed a lot of babies their bottles. I didn't take any classes or read any books but a few days before Mr. O was scheduled to make his appearance I did take a look around the internet to see if there were any tips or how to videos on BF. Not really all that helpful. I guess my plan was to wing it and keep my fingers crossed that it would work. It felt a little pinchy at first and I wasn't sure if the boy was latched on correctly. The nurses tried to help but mostly they would just grab a handful of boob and stuff it in the baby's mouth. I was lucky that we really didn't have any problems. It just worked. I did feel a little sore at first but those little sample tubes of La.ns.inoh really helped. It would take a month or so before I no longer needed to use the Lan.sin.oh after every nur.sing session.

The toughest thing about BF for me was doing it in front of other people. Especially in the beginning when I was still figuring it out. In those first few weeks I had a constant parade of family and friends visiting and staying with me. It was pretty isolating to be trapped in my bedroom for hours at a time because I wasn't comfortable feeding the baby in front of everyone. I have a 13 year old nephew and I absolutely did not want to be the owner of the first pair of boobs he sees! Nur.sing in public - ugh! I really struggled with my need for privacy and my baby's need to be fed NOW! RIGHT NOW! I remember taking Mr. O to get his photos taken at the mall when he was a few weeks old. It took longer than it should have and he needed to be fed. I put on my big girl panties and found a bench off to the side in a quieter part of the mall. I have a nur.sing cover but I still felt so exposed. It was torture. After that I planned any outings around the baby stores because they have mother's rooms for feeding (why don't more places?!). If he got fussy while we were at a restaurant or some non baby store I would go out to the car. I used to spend a lot of time in the car.

It has gotten easier to BF in public and while I'm not entirely comfortable it's no longer the torture it once was. I realized that most of the time people don't even notice that I'm nur.sing. When we're out I'm constantly scoping out quiet spots off to the side just in case I need to feed the boy. If we're in a restaurant I ask for a booth because it's easier and more discreet than a chair at a table. I will even ask to be seated away from the crowd in an emptier section if possible. I have now nur.sed Mr. O at the top of the Empire State Building, FAO Schwarz, the Lincoln Memorial, Fenway Park, Disney World, Busch Gardens and some places a little less public than those! I'm so grateful that Mr. O doesn't pull off the nurs.ing cover because if he did I would probably go back to hiding out in the car.