Meet my new best friend...

Lemonade! I'm loving lemonade. It might just be a coincidence (and I hate to say it out loud) but I haven't felt nauseous since I started drinking it yesterday. It's been nice to have a break from the constant icky feeling. Summer has finally found the Northeast and honestly I'm not really a fan. I was kind of liking the rain and cool temperatures.

I'm 9 weeks today and I'm surprised to find that I'm not really feeling as connected as I thought I would be. The family is very excited and talking about names, baby showers and fighting over who will be the first to hold the baby. I'm still feeling very much in limbo and can't think that far ahead. I'm hoping that I'll be feeling more confident once I can check out the heartbeat on a doppler in a few weeks.

8w 3d the week of the nap

I've been meaning to update here but the call of the nap has been so strong lately.

I was complaining before that I wasn't feeling any different. Yeah, not so much anymore. I start to feel nauseous after lunch and can barely eat dinner because I'm afraid of seeing it again. I start feeling less crappy around 9 and I'm conked out and snoozing by 11:30. Today was a great day. I napped from lunch time until dinner time. I know that it could be much much worse so I'm not complaining.

I had my first pregnant lady dr appt the other day and holy saltine crackers was it a giant waste of time! I had to fill out the medical history forms and meet with the nurse. She gave me some pamphlets and told me that I should stay hydrated and avoid alcohol and smoking. That took over an hour. My first appt with the actual doctor is in a few weeks. I hope that one is a little more interesting.

I mentioned to my mom and sister that I plan on using cloth diapers and now they are making me a little nuts. Mom is all about wanting to make some and also trying to convince me that disposable will be so much easier. Sister is all about researching online so she can tell me that there really is no difference. Anyone know of any good cloth diapering resources so I can be the expert on my choice?

Exhale

I was so nervous leading up to the scan yesterday. I was pretty much convinced that they wouldn't be able to find anything. I was wrong. I saw a tiny little baby with a perfect little flicker of a heartbeat. I felt my whole body relax the moment that I saw it. I feel so much lighter and hopeful. It's still early and bad things can still happen but I'm daring to hope and dream.

I graduated from the RE and my first prenatal appt is in a month.

Holding my breath

First ultrasound is in a few hours and my stomach is in knots. I woke up before 5 and after watching the clock for awhile I gave up on sleeping and got up at 6:30. I was hoping to snooze away the morning worry but no such luck.

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Today was a lovely day. No rain! The rain finally took a break!
Woke up early and took the nephew and my sister to this giant outdoor flea market. I was about a mile from snack shack when I realized that I had to eat something NOW. RIGHT. NOW! Once I got there nothing smelled too appealing so I settled for a barely heated pizza tile. Where was the fried dough? Someone would make a killing if they set up a fried dough booth. I wandered and looked but nothing called out to me begging to be brought home. Nobody had better junk than the junk I have spilling out my closets at home. It was nice to be out in the sunshine and walking around.

Still having those lightbulb moments when I remember that I'm pregnant. It's not an every single second reality just yet. I've had a few close calls with nausea but not overwhelming. I hope it stays this mild and I'm glad that I'm starting to feel sick. How goofy is that? Ultrasound on Tuesday and I'm so freaking nervous!

6 weeks

6 weeks tomorrow and I feel like I'm living in limbo. I don't really feel all that different. A little bit crampy every now and then and my boobs have only been sore a handful of days. I expect to see red just about every time I go to the bathroom and I'm constantly relieved that I haven't seen any. I've been thinking it was all a dream and that maybe I'm not really pregnant. My first ultrasound is next week and I'm hoping that I'll feel more confident about this sticking once I get a peek at the little one.

I have only told my mother, sisters and my cousin. I'm trying to decide when I want to start telling close friends and family. I would love to tell my dad in person because I think it will be highly amusing to see the shock on his face. He lives far away and I don't think I'll be flying down for a visit anytime soon so I'll have to settle for telling him over the phone. I can't decide if I want to tell him now or after next weeks scan.

On the mom front I have a bit of venting that I need to do. My mother is making me a little crazy with her excitement. She has quite the list of demands and if I'm annoyed now I just know that it can only get worse. She is insisting that she is going to all appointments and ultrasounds, wants to be in the delivery room, keeps referring to the baby as 'my baby' and doesn't like when I correct her and say 'No, it's mine', has declared that she will be the second person to hold the baby after me (I know she wants to be first and is planning on grabbing the kid before I get a chance), has been asking me every 5 minutes how I'm feeling and even had the nerve to blame my cranky attitude on hormones! Honestly, I know that I'm lucky that my mother is so supportive and excited but she's going a bit overboard. I had really wanted to go to my first ultrasound by myself and have that first look at the baby to be just me. I wanted to just take it all in and not have to listen to my mother's shrieks of joy. I wanted my moment to be about me. My mom is pretty loud and isn't one to sit in the background and not let it be about her.

I already let her know that she's not going to be in the delivery room because I'm having a csection and my sister won the prize spot because she's the only one I can trust to take decent photos. She's already proven to be up to the task because when she had her son via csection a few years ago the nurse held him up for her to see and she snapped his photo before even holding him. It's the best photo of my nephew from that day!

The answer isn't as easy as just telling her that I don't want her there or that she needs to back off. My mom is the queen of guilt trips and the pouting and drama would be more awful than just putting up with her overwhelming excitement. I have to pick my battles wisely. I am planning on telling her that she will not be coming to doctor appts and try to be as vague as possible about future ultrasounds.