I started bleeding today. The cramping is more intense than usual and a few of them have had me doubling over in pain. I'm sad but mostly ok. I knew that this was the most likely outcome. I still need to go for another beta on Monday to make sure that my hCG level has returned to 0.
I hated the untelling. I struggled to find the right words because once I said it out loud it would be true. Not this time was enough for one of them the other needed to hear miscarriage. Is that how I now have to answer the "have you ever been pregnant" question from doctors? Will filling in a new patient medical history form be the only weight that my spark will have? I'm thinking that I might want something else to give those 34 hours of hope some weight. Something small that I can see or touch. What that will be hasn't come to me yet but it will.
Scotland, Part Two
21 hours ago