Wednesday, May 28, 2008

More candles but the wish stayed the same

My birthday was a few days ago and my blowing out the candles wish was the same as it's been every year. A baby. I think I need bigger candles. 37 feels miles closer to 40 than 36 did. Not sure how I feel about that.

I got another shot of Lu*pron the other day and it could be just in my head but I think the flashes have gotten hotter. 4 months is long enough and I'll be glad when this junk is out of my system. I think it's made my skin clearer so I suppose that's something positive to say about fake menopause. I wonder if it has made a drastic difference in the size of the fibroid.

My surgery is fast approaching and I'm finding it tougher to pretend it's not happening. The idea of a catheter is what is freaking me out the most at the moment. Oh and then there is the whole my guts have spent all of my life safely tucked inside my skin for a good reason thing. I am looking forward to the time off and hope that I'm able to get up and around quickly so I can enjoy the break. I should start thinking about what I'll need to pack for my hospital stay. Hmmm, I have no idea since the last time I spent the night in a hospital was when I was born. Any suggestions out there?


Pepper said...

Happy birthday Meg! I hope you enjoyed your special day.

I know what you mean about these recent birthdays. Lately I've been feeling like Rumpelstiltskin - as if I've slept through my thirties and woke up with forty bitin' at my ass.

As for the surgery, when I woke up from my lap I honestly couldn't tell that I'd been catheterized. I didn't even think about it until days later, in fact. As for what to take: toiletries, comfy pj's, socks, slippers, a change of clothes for home (with loose waistbands).

Keep us posted!

DC said...

Happy Birthday! I know what you mean about dreading birthdays as you get older (especially while struggling with infertility). For me, every year that goes by, my biological clock ticks louder and louder. (Remember the scene in "My Cousin Vinny" where Marisa Tomei is stomping her foot while yelling about her biological clock? Yeah, that's me.) ;)

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with your surgery. I've had a catheter many times and it's really not that bad. It pinches a little going in, but once it's in, you can't even tell it's there.

I'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed that your surgery is successful!! said...

Hello there! I'm from NCLM...

Happy Birthday, I hope this is a great year for you!

As for the hospital stay, take a pillow...their pillows suck! Good luck...

shawna said...

Happy Birthday!
I would take your pillow with pillow spray. I hate the smell of hospitals and that has always seemed to help. FWIW, I don't think that you are going to care too much what you have packed after the surgery.

Duck said...

Happy Birthday
Not sure how big of a surgery you're going to have so I have 2 stories for you:
1. I just had a hysteroscopy and they used a catheter to fill my bladder so they can see my stubron ute, the catheter was out before I woke up, and i felt a little weird for a day, and then I felt better.
2. I had a laporotomy (which is a big surgery where you have a giant scar like a c-section) and was in the hospital for almost a week, I had a cathete for several days that time and it hurt like hell coming out.
So day surgery - nothing freaky with the catheter.
Not day surgery - nasty.

Oh and the lupron, you poor girl! I did that for a year, it was awful.
Best of luck with the surgery

Jess said...

Meg! Happy birthday! This will be a wonderful year for you.

I have lots of comments...first, I remember that my symptoms always got worse after each monthly Lupron shot. But don't worry, it will all be over soon. I found that it left my system quickly, and so did the symptoms, once the shots stopped.

Second, about the catheter...don't give it another thought. They put mine in once I was already out cold so I never felt it or knew anything about it. The took it out the next day...hardly felt anything. It really is soooo nothing to worry about.

Third, about the fear of your guts being not so safely tucked into your are experiencing totally normal worries. But, remember to have faith that your doctor has done this before...knows what s/he is doing...this is routine surgery for can trust them You will be asleep and will be none the wiser to anything that is going on. Leave that all up to your capable doctor. When you wake up, it will be over! You will be on the other side of it and it is such a relief! I remember being totally groggy and telling the nurse "I'm so glad the fibroid is gone!" over and over. It is very nice to have it all behind you, and you will experience that soon!!

Fourth, as to what to bring to the hospital. I totally cherished my Chap Stick (spearmint was my favorite). Your mouth and lips are super dry from the anesthesia and any type of lip balm helps a lot. I was very happy to have brought slip on Teva sandals. They were easy to slip on and were helpful to have when I walked the hallways during the two days in the hospital post-surgery. I brought clothes, but never changed out of the hospital robe. You will have IVs and stuff and it makes it really hard to take clothes on and off. Maybe bring a towel...they only had rough paper towels there for me and I wished I had a soft towel. I brought stuff to do, but never used it. I mostly watched tv and talked on the phone and visited with people who came to see me. I brought my own face soap, toothbrush, toothpaste.

I know this is an incredibly scary time, Meg, mostly because you don't know what to expect or how it will feel. But I'm tellin ya, you will be surprised that it is not nearly as bad as you imagine it will be. I'm rooting for you, and can't wait to hear how it goes!!

(Sorry for the long long post.)

Shel said...

Happy Birthday!

Just wanted to put my two cents in about the catheter, because that's the thing I was most freaked out about too. They did mine during prep. so I was awake, and it was really no big deal. It felt a little weird (pressure) when they pushed it in, but it didn't hurt.

Best of luck!

Jendeis said...

I hope you had a wonderful birthday. Even if you feel old, you've got clear skin, which rocks everything.

Hoping that everything goes well with your surgery.

here from NaComLeavMo

momofonefornow said...


I hope the surgery goes well and happy late birthday!

Tanya said...

Honestly, I didn't even think about a catheter when I had my surgery. Don't know if they did one or not. I was scared poopless of the anathestic (yah, I know I spelled it wrong).

Think of the end result. It will all be worth it when you get to hold your little one in the end.

seussgirl said...

Also wishing with you for this year!
Hi from NCLM!

DC said...

I hope you're doing well. When is your surgery?

alicia said...

happy beltaed birthday!

I know for all my hospital stays I bring a good book, and my iPod! And really comfy clothes!

Hope it all goes well!

Here from NaComLeavMo

Kate said...

Here from NCLM. Happy Birthday! It may be too late for this tip, but hospital pillows suck. I would bring one from home.

Kim said...

Happy Birthday! I was 36 on 5/21! I have no idea where the last ten years or so have gone! If only the awkward teenage years went by this quickly! Hope all is well with the surgery! i was always afraid of the catheter too and it was really no big deal. NCLM

Sam said...

Warm socks and slippers. Your own "blankie" and pillow. Chapstick. Earplugs.

genie said...

Hi - I had a myomectomy for a 12 cm fibroid about 2 years ago. It was like I was six months pregnant. For years, we joked about how my stomach would grow after I ate food. Never knew FeeBee was squishing my insides.

It was subserosal and hanging on a stalk outside my uterus. But once they got in, they found 8 total, but could only remove 5. They left the other 3 that were inside, but they were smaller than the tip of your finger.

WERE smaller ... I had an ultrasound a couple of days ago and one of them is now very visable. *sigh*

The surgery was a piece of cake. However, I woke up in so much pain ... because they hadn't had time to get the painkillers onboard. FUN! Once they got the morphine drip going it was good. However, when they turn that drip off ... be prepared. I was so sick. Morphine is EVIL. SO very EVIL.

The hospital was fine too. Except I agree with the person who said chapstick is your friend ... keep her close.

Genie said...

Double post ... sorry.

Honestly though ... everything else was good. The recovery ... all of it. Oh - and the night after the surgery, I was wired. Couldn't sleep ... sat in my room with my iPod singing all night long. Cause I was loopy from the morphine.

And they didn't put the catheter in until they knocked me out and I was still mostly numb when they took it out. I was a little surprised at how east that was really.

And about the morphine evil - they did give me medicine to combat the nausea. So it was good. I can't rave enough about my care in the hospital. I loved everyone ...

Dreams Come True said...

Happy Belated Birthday.

I wish you the best of luck with your surgery. I'd take my own pillow, a few books, my own pj's, my own socks. Stuff to keep me busy, and comfortable.

Here from NCLM.

Panamahat said...

Dropping by, randomly, from NCLM. Pretty behind on the birthday wishes, sorry. I turned 38 on the 7th May and that seems a lot closer to 40 than 37 did, so I really understand.

Best of luck with your upcoming surgery. I have had quite a bit of surgery and I concur with the good advice other commenters have given you re: lip balm, shoes, etc. I would add: ear plugs. Hospitals are noisy places and sometimes you just want to STAY asleep as the nurse enters your room for a seventh time that night to check on you. KWIM?

Chris said...

I know what you mean about the birthdays adding up, and some sure do hurt more than others.

When I had my D&C last year I had a catheter. I didn't even know it until a few hours after I got home and tried to pee. It really burned! I hope you do better with it. Good luck!

Jendeis said...

Hoping that everything continues to go well.

kcmarie122 said...

Best of luck on your surgery. I hope it comes and goes quickly so you can get off the lupron!

I've never spent an overnight in a hospital so I have no idea what to pack! Sorry!!

Pepper said...

Tag, you're it! Details on the June 8th post at my blog. :-)


Busted said...

Best of luck with your surgery, and happy birthday. It's so hard bypassing milestones and wishing for the same thing that we still haven't reached.

(via NCLM)

DC said...

Hoping for an update on your surgery.

baby~amore' said...

I'm here from NaComLeavCom
I wish you well on your surgery and hope it brings you closer to your dream.
I had no problems with a catheter - the sticking tape to the leg was my worse bug.
My Little Drummer boys
warm regards

JuliaS said...

Happy belated birthday.

Take your own toiletries - maybe a headband or something to help keep your hair out of your face after (that always bugged me) Having a robe or other cover-up is nice - how long a stay will it be for you? Your most comfortable clothes for going home. I alway take my own pillow. Even if I wasn't at the hospital long enough to use it, it was nice for in the car. You can use it to splint your belly afterward when you are moving around and it helps with the discomfort.

The catheter isn't that bad - but lots better if they put it in AFTER you are numb. I've had it done once before I was numb or unconscious and it can be a bit uncomfortable.

The lupron flashes are awful - I get my second 3 month shot next week. Though, my skin is not clear - I break out constantly since being on it.

Good wishes to you!


Queenie. . . said...

Happy belated birthday, and good luck with the surgery, if it hasn't already happened!

Jess said...

Thinking of you Meg. When's the surgery?

Kelly D said...

I turned 37 less than 2 months ago and I'm not excited about being this much closer to 40.

Congrats on making the decision to pursue single motherhood.