6 weeks

6 weeks tomorrow and I feel like I'm living in limbo. I don't really feel all that different. A little bit crampy every now and then and my boobs have only been sore a handful of days. I expect to see red just about every time I go to the bathroom and I'm constantly relieved that I haven't seen any. I've been thinking it was all a dream and that maybe I'm not really pregnant. My first ultrasound is next week and I'm hoping that I'll feel more confident about this sticking once I get a peek at the little one.

I have only told my mother, sisters and my cousin. I'm trying to decide when I want to start telling close friends and family. I would love to tell my dad in person because I think it will be highly amusing to see the shock on his face. He lives far away and I don't think I'll be flying down for a visit anytime soon so I'll have to settle for telling him over the phone. I can't decide if I want to tell him now or after next weeks scan.

On the mom front I have a bit of venting that I need to do. My mother is making me a little crazy with her excitement. She has quite the list of demands and if I'm annoyed now I just know that it can only get worse. She is insisting that she is going to all appointments and ultrasounds, wants to be in the delivery room, keeps referring to the baby as 'my baby' and doesn't like when I correct her and say 'No, it's mine', has declared that she will be the second person to hold the baby after me (I know she wants to be first and is planning on grabbing the kid before I get a chance), has been asking me every 5 minutes how I'm feeling and even had the nerve to blame my cranky attitude on hormones! Honestly, I know that I'm lucky that my mother is so supportive and excited but she's going a bit overboard. I had really wanted to go to my first ultrasound by myself and have that first look at the baby to be just me. I wanted to just take it all in and not have to listen to my mother's shrieks of joy. I wanted my moment to be about me. My mom is pretty loud and isn't one to sit in the background and not let it be about her.

I already let her know that she's not going to be in the delivery room because I'm having a csection and my sister won the prize spot because she's the only one I can trust to take decent photos. She's already proven to be up to the task because when she had her son via csection a few years ago the nurse held him up for her to see and she snapped his photo before even holding him. It's the best photo of my nephew from that day!

The answer isn't as easy as just telling her that I don't want her there or that she needs to back off. My mom is the queen of guilt trips and the pouting and drama would be more awful than just putting up with her overwhelming excitement. I have to pick my battles wisely. I am planning on telling her that she will not be coming to doctor appts and try to be as vague as possible about future ultrasounds.