Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'm getting sea sick

Life is too ... fluid for me at the moment.
I'm dealing with unknowns in all major areas of my life and it's making me extremely unsettled.

Letting some steam out yesterday helped a bit. I'm still feeling crabby but I can feel my brain trying to sort through what needs to be done and put everything back on the proper shelves.

Trying to get pregnant while I'm also looking for a job isn't ideal but I don't see any other option. Time is not really on my side and I don't want to wait myself right out of my chance at being a mother. I may have already hit snooze one too many times.

I don't think I've mentioned before that I took in my sister and her son last year and have been pretty much supporting them. My sister works a low paying retail job and before I took her in she was living with my mother. She pays me not quite half of the rent and I cover all other expenses. I had hoped that by now she would have been closer to supporting herself but it hasn't happened yet. I have always assumed that the trade off for taking on the additional financial burden would be that she would be available to help me with child care. Day care has become a cheaper option and big changes are on the way for her because I can't let supporting her be at the expense of being able to afford to start my own family.

Ok, enough of the heavy stuff. Tomorrow I'm choosing to talk about something more fun and positive. Maybe I'll share my secret stash of hope.

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