2010 I love you and I'm sorry to see you go

2010 was a very good year and for the first time in my life I'm a little sad to see a year end. I'm sure 2011 has lots of exciting and wonderful things to offer but it will be tough to top 2010. 2010 was the year my sweet baby dream came true.

When I look at pictures of myself from the past year I'm amazed at all the happy oozing out of my smile. I look like a different person. I am a different person. I'm Mr. O's Mom. I'm finally a mom.

In the past my New Year's post was all about how next year would be the year. Thank you 2010 for being the year.

Happy New Year bloggy friends and I hope with all of my heart that 2011 is your year.

Feeding for all to see

The last of the started but not finished until now posts from the draft folder.
I hesitated to put this one out there at first because bre.astfe.eding (BF) is one of those topics that usually end up in battles or tears. I know that I'm incredibly lucky that BF has worked out so well for me and that for some folks it isn't so easy or sadly even an option. I believe that we all make the best choices we can for our babies and ourselves and if someone doesn't agree then they can $!#$!! It truly doesn't matter how we feed our babies - just that we do.



Nur.sing my boy has been an unexpected joy. When I was pregnant the plan was to give BF a try and see how it goes. I liked that it was free and good for the boy but mostly I was digging on the free. I would read about women who love, LOVE, love the BF relationship and are sad when it ends and I admit I just didn't understand what the big deal was. It's just a way to feed your kid and you don't hear anyone gushing over spoonfulls of chee.rios, right? Well, I'm still not gushing but I think I kind of get it now. It's both a physical and an emotional thing. My body responds to his hunger cues and schedule and if I don't nurse him the full feeling is a tingly kind of uncomfortable. I love being all snuggled up together while he's eating. I can look down at that tiny face and nuzzle his fuzzy little head. These days he's so busy moving around and trying to get in to things that the only time he'll sit still for a cuddle is when he's eating.

I was a BF baby but growing up all of my cousins were formula fed and being the oldest of all those cousins I helped feed a lot of babies their bottles. I didn't take any classes or read any books but a few days before Mr. O was scheduled to make his appearance I did take a look around the internet to see if there were any tips or how to videos on BF. Not really all that helpful. I guess my plan was to wing it and keep my fingers crossed that it would work. It felt a little pinchy at first and I wasn't sure if the boy was latched on correctly. The nurses tried to help but mostly they would just grab a handful of boob and stuff it in the baby's mouth. I was lucky that we really didn't have any problems. It just worked. I did feel a little sore at first but those little sample tubes of La.ns.inoh really helped. It would take a month or so before I no longer needed to use the Lan.sin.oh after every nur.sing session.

The toughest thing about BF for me was doing it in front of other people. Especially in the beginning when I was still figuring it out. In those first few weeks I had a constant parade of family and friends visiting and staying with me. It was pretty isolating to be trapped in my bedroom for hours at a time because I wasn't comfortable feeding the baby in front of everyone. I have a 13 year old nephew and I absolutely did not want to be the owner of the first pair of boobs he sees! Nur.sing in public - ugh! I really struggled with my need for privacy and my baby's need to be fed NOW! RIGHT NOW! I remember taking Mr. O to get his photos taken at the mall when he was a few weeks old. It took longer than it should have and he needed to be fed. I put on my big girl panties and found a bench off to the side in a quieter part of the mall. I have a nur.sing cover but I still felt so exposed. It was torture. After that I planned any outings around the baby stores because they have mother's rooms for feeding (why don't more places?!). If he got fussy while we were at a restaurant or some non baby store I would go out to the car. I used to spend a lot of time in the car.

It has gotten easier to BF in public and while I'm not entirely comfortable it's no longer the torture it once was. I realized that most of the time people don't even notice that I'm nur.sing. When we're out I'm constantly scoping out quiet spots off to the side just in case I need to feed the boy. If we're in a restaurant I ask for a booth because it's easier and more discreet than a chair at a table. I will even ask to be seated away from the crowd in an emptier section if possible. I have now nur.sed Mr. O at the top of the Empire State Building, FAO Schwarz, the Lincoln Memorial, Fenway Park, Disney World, Busch Gardens and some places a little less public than those! I'm so grateful that Mr. O doesn't pull off the nurs.ing cover because if he did I would probably go back to hiding out in the car.

Pregnancy

Another post from the draft folder. I started writing this one in April.


I didn't blog too much while I was pregnant. I meant to and I had things that I wanted to say but I just never managed to get them written down.


I didn't have any of the typical pregnancy symptoms until I was almost 2 months along. In fact I didn't feel one teeny tiny bit different. I felt like maybe I had dreamed that positive pregnancy test and it wasn't really true. It doesn't help that once you get a positive test you have to wait weeks and weeks to see a doctor. I was so afraid that I would get to that first ob appointment and they would tell me that it was all a mistake and I wasn't really pregnant. Around 7 or 8 weeks I had my first wave of nausea and I was so excited. Ha, ha, ha, I laugh now at how dumb I was because from that moment until the baby arrived I was sick every single day. I even vomited during delivery. It's funny that people always said that once you have that baby you'll forget the pain of labor and the discomfort of pregnancy. While I was pregnant I thought there was no way that I would do it again because being sick all the time was so miserable. Now that I'm on the other side it's not that I've forgotten (not one little bit!) it's more that the reward is so worth all the misery. Fitting into pants that I haven't been able to get past my knees in years has been kind of nice too.


I always thought that once I got pregnant that I wouldn't be able to keep it to myself and would be telling everyone the minute I found out. I was the complete opposite. I told my immediate family as soon as I found out and then threatened them with all kinds of torture if they didn't keep it a secret. At first I was nervous that it would be another miscarriage and I didn't want to untell the news. Once I got to 12 weeks I was still hesitant about making big announcements. It seemed like such a private thing and I didn't want to share. I kept putting off telling people that I don't see all the time until I was 6 or 7 months along. I think a big part of that was being afraid of folks asking about the father. I was comfortable with the fact that I had used a donor but since I had never really encountered any opposition or negative reactions it was easy to be confident with my choice. It just seemed like it would be exhausting to deal with. My immediate family was easy because I knew they would love me no matter what but opening up myself and my baby to the judgement of others gave me pause. When I told my parents I gave them both a lecture about how this was their grandbaby and the story of how he came to be was something to celebrate. I also made it clear that I absolutely would not tolerate anyone making him feel like it was a shameful secret and that it was up to them to make sure that the extended family gets that message too. In the end I was so surprised at how much of a non-issue it was. My mother took the celebrate bit a little too much to heart because she told EVERYONE all about her miracle grandbaby and how wonderful it was. The neighbors, multiple sales clerks at multiple stores, waitresses, etc (she loves to make new friends!). Funny thing is that everyone she talked to was so positive and sadly she heard from more than one that they regretted not making the same choice.

15 Weeks of Wisdom & then revisiting it at 37 weeks

I was cleaning out my drafts folder and found a few posts that I never got around to finishing. I started writing this one back in June when Mr. O was just 15 weeks old.


Mr. O has been on the outside for 15 weeks and here are a few things that I've learned. I hope this doesn't come across as complaining or whining because it's really not how I intend for it to sound. Mostly it's stuff I 'knew' before but now that it's a reality it can be challenging. Especially as a single parent.

For me the absolute hardest part of adjusting to motherhood has been the fact that my needs do not come first. I can no longer pee, shower, brush my teeth, eat a meal, complete household chores or spend time reading, gaming, watching tv or reading blogs whenever I feel like it. All of those things are put off and crammed in to those little moments when baby isn't demanding some kind of attention. Even when the baby is happily playing on his mat or napping you just never know when they are going to start crying for you. It could be 3 minutes or it could be an hour so it's hard to start more involved tasks because you just never know when you'll need to stop what you're doing. I asked for this and I'm not the least bit resentful it's just that the reality takes a bit getting used to. We're still finding our rhythm over here but I have found that the more organized I am the easier it is to eek out some moments for myself.

Be prepared! Repack the diaper bag when you return home from an outing instead of when you are already rushing to get out the door. If you have to be somewhere the next day get everything you're going to need together the night before. I've found that this simple step has increased my chances of actually being able to take a shower.

Eating! Some of these nursing sessions can last hours and hours (ok, I'm exaggerating... a little) so I make sure I stock some easy to grab snacks near the nursing chair. I also try to pack up leftovers in single serve portions so that I'm not wasting precious moments wandering through the cabinets wondering what I can eat.

Take advantage of extra hands! Ask for help! Friends and family want to help but unless you tell them what you need they won't know how. If you feel weird asking friends to do housekeeping stuff ask them to hold the baby so you can shower, nap or put laundry in the dryer.


and now at 37 weeks....
What struck me rereading what I wrote is how many times I talked about showering. It was a rare thing in the early days. It was also a really intense time. It was a good day if I managed to get one non baby thing done. Mr. O is 8 months old now and thankfully it has gotten easier to find time to bathe! I've always been a be prepared for every scenario type of gal so for me the only way I've been able to survive this parenting solo thing is by being organized and planning ahead.

What stategies work for you?

Hot blooded

Being sick is never fun but when it's just you there is only one thing you have to worry about - you. I'm the first to admit that I'm a big baby that whines to my Mommy whenever I'm sick. I want to curl up in my jammies and have someone bring me drinks and make me soup or toast. Usually I can convince my Mom to drive over and do those things but not always. Being sick and having to still worry about taking care of a baby is extra not fun. I felt like I got hit by a fast moving truck yesterday and was left a feverish puddle that could barely get out of bed. Lucky for me I started to feel icky around nap time so it was easy to convince Mr. O to chill out on the bed and go to sleep. Unlucky for me that my Mom was at my sister's house for the day so there wasn't going to be anyone to bring me anything or more importantly there wasn't going to be anyone else around to help take care of Mr. O. Once nap time was over the little guy needed to be changed and the diapers were all the way on the other side of the room. They might as well have been miles away because I could barely lift my head and had to crawl over to the changing table and back. Now that the baby was awake I had to stay semi conscious so that he didn't crawl off the bed or make friends with any electrical outlets. It was the longest 4 hours of my life. My Mom got home later that night and rescued the baby from having to hang out next to me in bed. Thank you, Mom! I know I'm lucky that I even had the option of having my Mom help out because so many of us don't have any back up. Doing this parenting thing solo is hard enough when we're feeling 100% and feels almost impossible when we're not. The only thing that gets me through is trying to stay a few steps ahead of disaster. I failed this crisis because once I started feeling sick it was already too late to rush out to the store and get fever reducers and juice. I should have had that stuff stocked up so that I could stay on top of the fever before it got too bad. Feeling better today and tomorrow I'm heading out to the store so I can refill the emergency sick supplies.

Sometimes you have to go home

It's been busy around here the last few weeks! I moved back home to my Mom's so that I can save some money and it will also give me more time to find a job that gives me the flexibility I'm looking for so that I can spend most of Mr. O's awake time with him. There is very little that I hate more than moving and good golly moving with a baby is HARD! I hated having to keep him out of the way in his swing, play yard or someone else's arms just so I could get everything done. We both missed our routine and playtime. We're still in the middle of settling in and most of my stuff is sitting in a storage unit parked in the driveway until I can figure out where to put everything.

Mr. O is doing great! I still find it hard to believe that I grew this tiny human. He's really liking food but his true love is drinking out of a cup. The boy goes crazy for cups! We're taking it slow but having a great time trying out new foods. This week spinach got two thumbs up but oatmeal cereal was not a big hit. I'm working on a post with more details on how baby led weaning is working out for us. The boy is working hard on getting around and is pretty quick with the belly crawl. I think he'll be full on crawling any day now.

Baby gear I didn't know that I needed until I did

Emery boards- baby fingers are so little and their tiny fingernails are really thin. I was so nervous about using nail clippers in the beginning! I stuck with baby emery boards for the first few weeks until I was brave enough to use the nail clippers. I wish I had packed some in the hospital bag because Mr. O was born with long nails and he scratched that perfect little face before the end of his first day. I still keep an emery board in the diaper bag just in case I have to file down a nail that snuck past inspection.



Mirror for the car seat - I hated not being able to see the baby while I was driving and holding up a compact make-up mirror only worked if I was the passenger. I started out with the kind of mirror that attaches to the car but that wasn't too helpful when we were in someone else's car. I returned the fancy expensive one that I had and bought the kind that attaches to the bucket for $10 and it is by far the best baby gear purchase I have made so far! It allows me to see the baby while I'm driving and interact with him via our mirrors, it entertains him while he's stuck in the bucket at the grocery store and now that he's older he likes to play with the spinning balls and talk to the baby in the mirror. I can only imagine what people are saying about that strange lady making goofy faces and bug eyes in her rear view mirror!

Night light - Before baby I would sleep in total darkness and even had to turn my alarm clock away from me because the lighted numbers were too bright. Once baby arrived I just couldn't relax unless I could see him clear enough to tell if he was breathing. The first few weeks I slept with my bedroom light on but it was too bright so I stepped down to a 25 watt table lamp and now I'm surviving with a tiny plug-in night light.

Night light part 2 - Driving at night was rough for both of us. He doesn't like the dark and is very vocal about letting everyone in a 5 mile radius know and I don't like not being able to see him. I tried using one of those tap lights but the light was distracting to me and it wasn't too baby friendly. I ended up finding the perfect light for us - a TykeLight Jr. LED light. It's safe for Mr. O to handle because it doesn't get hot and he likes to stick the arms in his mouth (because everything goes in his mouth these days!) and it gives off enough of a glow that he's calmer about the dark and I can see what he's up to but it isn't so bright that I'm distracted while driving.

Keeping baby out of the sun while out for walks - We went to Florida to visit my sister and the Mouse and I was worried about keeping the baby out of sun while we were walking around the parks. I used a clip-on umbrella and strategically placed receiving blankets and it did the job but it required constant vigilance to make sure that the make-shift contraption was positioned just right as the sun's rays shifted through out the day. It was after I got home that I discovered the perfect sun shade with bonus bug protection. Uppa baby makes a pop up bubble screen that fits over most car seat buckets. That combined with the clip-on umbrella (hey! It has a sock monkey print how could I not keep using it?!) kept Mr. O shaded and bug bite free all summer. I also like that it's easy to fold flat and doesn't take up a lot of room when not in use.

Anyone else have a few favorite baby gear finds that they didn't know they would need and/or love?